robotchickenfandomcom-20200214-history
Transcription:The A-Team
(Cut to the A-Team in front of their van. They are speaking to an unattractive woman.) UNATTRACTIVE WOMAN: My father has been kidnapped because he refuses to pay protection money to a bunch of thugs! FACEMAN: Sorry, lady. We're gonna pass on this one. UNATTRACTIVE: But--but-- (sobbing) HANNIBAL: All right. Who's our next appointment? (An attractive woman walks up to them.) ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: My father has been kidnapped because he refuses to pay protection money to a bunch of thugs. HANNIBAL: Lady, you just hired the A-Team. (Title screen) (Cut to the A-Team's helicopter) B.A. BARACUS: I ain't flying, Hannibal. No way, no how. HANNIBAL: That sounds perfectly reasonable, B.A. Now calm down and have some nice milk. (B.A. drinks the milk) B.A.: Mmm. Milk. Good for the bones. Good for the kids. I pity the fool who ain't got no calcium in his diet. (Murdock slams a TV on B.A.'s head) FACEMAN: Murdock, we drugged the milk! (Cut to the inside of the helicopter) MURDOCK: You know, years of drugged milk can have unfortunate side effects. HANNIBAL: Oh, yeah? Like what, Murdock? MURDOCK: Severe lactose intolerance. B.A.: (farting) I don't like cheese. FACEMAN: Can you roll down the windows in a helicopter? HANNIBAL: This is going to be a long trip. B.A. (mumbling) I want my rubber ducky. (Cut to the outside of the thugs' office. The A-Team are in their van.) HANNIBAL: OK, Face, infiltrate the office and steal their files. FACEMAN: Easy as pie. (Cut to the inside of the office building) FACEMAN: Greetings. Is this where the thugs and/or criminals hang out? Because I, too am a thug and/or criminal. THUG: Holy crap! It's Faceman from the A-Team! THUG 2: Get him! FACEMAN: Hannibal, they're onto us! (The thugs fire at the van with machine guns.) HANNIBAL: Easy, boys. We surrender. (The thugs throw them into a room.) THUG: We're gonna come back and deal with you heroes later. HANNIBAL: All right. Let's assess the situation. B.A.: I found a lawnmower. FACEMAN: I found some thimbles. MURDOCH: I found Jesus! (Murdoch is dressed like the Pope.) HANNIBAL: Let's show these punks what it means to mess with the A-Team. (There is a montage of the A-Team working on something) HANNIBAL: OK, gang. Let's get froggy on these tadpoles. (They come bursting out of the compound in a heavily armored A-Team van. Murdoch comes out and shoots wildly with a machine gun. Hannibal launches a cannon at one of the thugs' cars. The other thugs shoot at them with machine guns as they fly up into the air, but the A-Team fire back with their cannon. Murdoch picks up a thug.) HANNIBAL: Now are you going to leave that old man and his daughter alone? THUG: Yes! For God's sake, yes! HANNIBAL: That's all I needed to hear. B.A., do the honors. B.A.: I'm gonna fly you out on Knuckle Airlines. Fist class. THUG: My azaleas! (The thug lands in a bed of flowers) ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: A-Team, you did it. You saved our family business. HANNIBAL: It was our pleasure. OH, and by the way, that'll be $50,000. OLD MAN: $50,000? Our whole business is only worth 10,000! We're ruined! Ruined! HANNIBAL: I love it when a plan comes together. You guys are great. MURDOCK: Look at that douchebag! He's just as good-looking as me! (Cut to credits) Category:Transcriptions